Greetings and salutations on this beautiful morning!

Evan got here around 10:30 last night, and we discussed some of the things he needs to know, and just generally shot the shit. As you may recall he stays up late and sleeps in a lot, at which he is extremely busy at this moment. I did have to wake him up at 7:17 this morning because he had parked on Lisa’s side of the garage last night and I needed his keys.

“What time is it?”

“7:17.”

“Oh. Okay.”

“You can go back to bed. You don’t have to stay up because I am.”

“Oh. Okay. I think I will for a while.”

“A while” would appear to be somewhere beyond 11:00, since it is almost that now. So, after taking care of the critters and doing a few chores, I sat down to write him a list of please dos, how tos, and whatevers. Maybe you will find it interesting. If not, I’m sorry. It’s just that I don’t like making lists, so mine are a little different.

Hello Evan, sleepy little feller! Trying to think of things to tell you. Most important, aside from the cats, PLEASE take the trash bin and recycle bin out to the curb Wednesday evening. Recycle can is almost full. It’s hard for the trucks to pick them up on the curve, so I take them down in front of the utility boxes and set them on the grass three feet apart.

Anything in the fridge, freezer or pantry you want to tackle is yours. If it’s something you think we might want to replace write it down, but other than that, go for it. If it’s expired, throw it away. Lisa goes “YEW!” at green fuzzy stuff in the fridge and makes me take it out.

Regarding feeders, fill them whenever you get up. Put the metal pans under the front of the squirrel feeders to catch shit they knock out. Two scoops of seed in each feeder, it’s okay if it splashes out, I just toss it in there, and top off bird feeders as necessary. I only use sunflower seed. Hummingbird, nyjer and suet feeders are fine.

I soaked the bungee on top of the seed can with hot sauce and spread what was left in the bowl on top of the lid to keep the coons out. After you feed, wash your hands before you touch your eyes or stick your finger up your nose.

Turtle stuff is in the bottom drawer of fridge, if you want to mess with turtles other than Harold, half a banana, peeled, Harold only gets a 3/4″ long piece, whatever grapes are down there, four or five, and slice them in half, please, so the turtles can get a grip on them. Don’t waste them on Harold. They’ll just shrivel up in his plate.

Please cut the cantaloupe and eat what you want. Cut one section in apprx 1x1x1 chunky size pieces for Harold. He’ll only need 5 or 6 for the week. He only gets one per feeding, and he doesn’t get fed every day. Whenever he eats most of it, I put a little more stuff on there a bit later, but light. You can share with the other turtles if you like. Don’t put too much out there, 3 or 4 chunky pieces max, ’cause sometimes they come and sometimes they don’t. If you don’t like cantaloupe, give ’em more. If they don’t come the coons will eat it later.

Tomato, eat what you want, but please leave some flesh on the stem end for Harold and diagonally cut that into five or six pieces.

Chicken, only give him about a thumbnail size portion or he won’t eat anything else. Same with a pinch of wheat bread.

Cats, if the pan is empty, 2.5 cupfuls of kibble in the blue mixing bowl, one can good shit, stir until mixed. If you set it on the counter Pretty Face, Tiny Terry and Jackson will be trying to help you. I usually let each of them snatch one bite as I’m scooping the good stuff out of the can, and then I pick it up and mix thoroughly as I walk to the sunroom saying, “Stripey Cat, it’s time, come on.” Set the pan wherever you want it out where six cats can get around it.

Treats at your discretion. Very helpful for getting them somewhere you want them if you need to get them out of somewhere you don’t to close the door.
Shake the can gently and say, “Kitties! Do you want treats? Sometimes Tiny Terry and Pretty Face take a little longer to respond. They are laid back.

Please turn off the lights when you go to bed. Dipwad. You can leave the toilet seat up.

Plants should be fine. Gonna water the shit out of them today.

Two bigger, covered litter boxes will be here Monday afternoon, and a big poop sifter scoop. Metal! Tiny Terry and Pretty Face are too damned big (somebody couldn’t get his big ass all of the way in there last night and left me some Tootsie rolls on the floor and the tall end of the sifter), and Jackson is a finicky fuck and scrapes and scrapes and scrapes until he pulls it up over the edge. Pretty Face was taking a crap this morning while Jackson stood parallel with him 69 watching, and Jackson started covering it after the second turd dropped. Like I said, fininicky. Take open ones and one of new ones to garage, put other in the sunroom. We will discuss locations for garage. Will also discuss some ideas I’ve had regarding maybe symplifying maintenance of same.

Pull your car into the garage after we leave. Stays cooler, you won’t get wet if it rains, and “certain neighbors” can’t bitch, though theirs sat out for two or three days recently. Usually that’s not bad and nobody says anything, especially if you have guests. But now? Hell no. Not one more excuse to bitch.

What else. Time for a sip of coffee, which is probably cold now, and a couple off puffs of G.L. Pease Stonehenge. And music. I forget to keep my music going when I’m typing.

“Let’s have some fun shall we?!!!”

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PL_E6ox5kt9dzlmsHHWb3h9Sj8i9B5zLYI

Ooooooo. That first song sounds as if the composer may have known someone like Betty! I did not intentionally choose this album with that particular song in mind (we’ll get to that one in a bit), but it seems fitting.

Thank you Ruby!

One last mention of the cat dilemma…

I won’t bore you with all of the correspondence, but here is the summation, and we will let this pass. Please, remember, if your place of residence has laws regarding feral/community cats, they are exempt, and protected.

Dear Terry:

After much consideration, deliberation and discussion, Lisa and I have come to the decision we will attempt to keep the cats contained as much as possible. While the law stipulates it is their right to come and go as they please, after my attempted discussion with Betty regarding the one cat that entered her garage one time, which can easily be dealt with, it is apparent she is unable to have a reasonable discussion without flying into a rage. Irrational, intolerant people are not the easiest to communicate with, as I am sure the members of the board know quite well. Due to this we are extremely concerned the cats’ lives might well be in danger, and that someone may attempt to poison them. It also concerns us that poisoned baits could cause harm to other woodland creatures. Another of our concerns is that we do not want the board to be burdened with basically inconsequential complaints that could easily be resolved personally if we could only establish a dialogue. We are sure you have plenty of serious problems to deal with, and your time is best spent on those. We anticipate it will be difficult to keep them from running out the door on occasion since they were born in the woods and consider it their home, but will curtail this as much as we possibly can. I do intend to take them out for supervised play periods in our feeding area to fill that void, and I will not leave them unattended. Fortunately, being retired, I can do this without being too inconvenienced. We also intend to leave our animal deterrents deployed just in case. The extra supplies I will need were ordered yesterday evening and will be delivered tomorrow, July 5, 2018. We hope that these additional measures will make all of our lives more peaceful. I do want to thank you and the other members of the board once again for your patience and understanding, and assure you we will continue to do the best that we can do to be responsible members of our community.

Warmest regards,
Terry D. Appel

Terry, I’m sure you, as I, feel we’re spending way too much time on this cat issue, but in my roll as OHWC President I feel I have a duty to all that live here to try and resolve the issue. When I look at city code 6.05 Animal Control I’m drawn to two sections. 6.05.020 defines “Animal Nuisance” within subsections (8) & (9) as an animal that trespasses and an animal that creates risk of substantial harm. I believe that I have a couple of residents who would say that these cats meet this definition. When I then look at section 6.05.040 “Prohibited Acts” it states “no person shall permit an animal nuisance”. The feeling is that by feeding these cats, you are aiding in the existence of creating a nuisance and that this is in violation of not only the Associations by-Laws, but city code. I would be interested in VHS’s and your attorney’s take on this.

Sorry we’re spending our time on this.

Terry Keil, President
OHWC

Terry:

I did that research prior to having the cats processed, sir. Community cats are not considered to be a nuisance animal, to be guilty of trespass on any property within the city limits, nor capable of substantial harm. They have their own, separate classification. I’m not sure if you saw my previous missive, but litigation to cease and desist against the complainants was one of the things Lisa and I discussed. We ruled that out as just something else which would cause more contention, and so decided we would rather try to mitigate the situation by controlling their access to the outdoors and monitoring them when outdoors to prevent them from wandering down that way. In some cases discretion is indeed the better part of valor. We do not want to get into a legal battle with either our neighbors or the association, even though we know our legal standing. Aside from one individual, we like living here. We find the board to be caring and even-handed, we like our other neighbors, and we would like to remain here. We would rather bite-the-bullet, control the cats, though we are not obligated to do so, and try to get along with everyone.

“Animal assemblage” means the gathering of seven or more altered dogs and/or altered cats over the age of six months, except community cats, on one or more adjoining lots owned or occupied by the same owner(s) or tenant(s) of a single residence on the lot(s).

“At large” means any animal, other than community cats, that is not under restraint.

“Community cat” means any free-roaming cat that may be cared for by one or more residents of the immediate area that is known or unknown; a community cat may or may not be a feral cat. Community cats shall be distinguished from other cats by being sterilized and ear-tipped. Community cats may be part of a trap-neuter-return (TNR) program.

It’s pretty cut-and-dried: they are exempt, and we can care for them. I would have left them strictly alone if this were not the case, but I did not want them to reproduce and spread throughout the property. If we need to seek legal counsel, we will, but we do not want this to advance to that stage, and we truly do not want to leave Oak Hill Woods, though we have also been discussing that. As I said in my previous message, we will do everything in our power to prevent this from escalating to that point, and to try to promote peace in the neighborhood.

Warmest regards,
Terry D. Appel

Terry, I truly appreciate all that you and Lisa are doing to mitigate this problem and hope that this puts an end to the issue.

Thanks again,

Terry Keil, President
OHWC

Terry,

I can’t say that it’s my pleasure to try to appease one toxic individual (the other individual is willing to work with us to resolve her issue), but I CAN say it is my pleasure to try to get this off of the board’s back, and maintain the peace. You have always treated us fairly, and we have no complaints with our interactions with the board. As soon as my supplies arrive tomorrow so I can hold the cats inside for extended periods I will put my plan into action. Until then I am keeping a close eye on them. Three are currently asleep in the sunroom with me, and three are asleep under the picnic table. They sleep a lot.

In parting for now, all I can say is, some people are reasonable and flexible, some are not and want everything their own way, or there is hell to pay. In this life we have to deal with both. Now please, for heaven’s sake, go enjoy your holiday. After two extremely trying days, I am going to try to enjoy the rest of mine.

Warmest regards,
Terry

The shit has hit the fan…

My latest message to the president of the HOA:

From: Megabozo [mailto:harold@haroldsroom.net]
Sent: Monday, July 2, 2018 8:11 PM
To: ‘Terry Keil’
Subject: Update
Terry:
I delivered the spray bottle and whistle to Phyllis. That went fine, but Betty came out of her garage after eavesdropping on our conversation and started ranting. I explained to her exactly what Evansville Animal Control, The Vanderburgh Humane Society and ASPCA told me about the cats, the most recent scientific findings regarding feral and community cats, their rights, and what I could do about them according to city ordinances, and that I have done exactly as I was told to do by all three organizations, as the law prescribed, plus expending over $1000.00 of my own money to keep them from wandering into her area. She was having none of it and continued to rant. I offered her the bottle and whistles I bought for them. She refused (she told me to stick them up my ass). She is of the opinion she knows more about the law than I do regarding their rights after I spent a month researching this before I ever did anything about the cats. I was attempting to continue my conversation with Phyllis, but she kept yelling and interrupting and I told her our conversation was over and to please go away. She then advised me she “had friends” and would have them “removed.” I told her that according to city ordinance that was not possible, and that I was advised by VHS that if anyone interferes with the cats I was to call the police and report them. I then asked her again to desist as my conversation was with Phyllis. I finally had to become insistent that she was no longer welcome in the conversation. She finally closed her garage door and left. I had hoped it would go much better than that, but knowing Betty I was not surprised. I wish I had better news for you, but at this point I am at an impasse. I am sure she will be in touch with you, and I wanted you to know what actually happened. I offered her assistance with her concerns. She refused “adamantly.” I regret that so much of our time and energy (and my money) have been expended on this, and we have been unable to placate Betty. Again, I am not surprised since she has hated us since we disagreed with her regarding the actions of the members of the board and wanted us to vote everyone out. We have never even been acknowledged by her since that time, other than her bitching to the board about us. I am sorry you are in the middle of this.
Best regards,
Terry